Now, post-toasties, the heap good Cornflakes is proud to present Gunsmoke.
Around Dodd City and in the territory on West, there's just one way to handle the killers and the spoilers,
and that's with a U.S. Marshal and the smell of Gunsmoke.
Gunsmoke, the story of the violence that moved west with young America,
the story of a man who moved with it, Matt Dillon, United States Marshal.
It's easy to do your whole tribe a big favor, Mother. Just for every big and little Indian in
your camp, a breakfast bowl full of post-toasties. Post-toasties, you know, are the heap good Cornflakes.
They're the best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.
Fresh as fresh can be. Say, post-toasties are cracklin' crisp. Sweet kernel corn flavor. Toasted.
That's post-toasties. Post-toasties are packed with nourishment, too. A bowl of post-toasties
with sugar and milk helps your big braves and little Indians start the day right. Get post-toasties soon.
And now, Gunsmoke, starring William Conrad.
You're a stranger in Dodge, Marshal.
Well, I've only been gone a week, Sam. Hey, you got any rye left?
Kitty over there has got the last bottle, Marshal. I'll have some tomorrow when the Santa Fe gets in.
Good. Meanwhile, I'll see if I can talk Kitty out of a drink.
Sure.
I heard you were back, Matt. How are you?
You've been saving that bottle for me, Kitty.
You know, I never drink rye.
Thanks.
Well, it's the closest I've been to civilization in the week.
You find what you're after?
Yeah, I found him.
Yeah, what's that stuff you're drinking?
This? Here. Keep the bottle on the floor. It looks better.
Let me see that.
Professor Bone's Wonder Medicine.
Celebrated vegetable pulmonic detergent.
I hope it tastes better than it reads, Kitty.
Tastes fine, Matt.
Makes you feel fine, too.
Essential oil of worm seed, a new and valuable curative.
Professor Bone, Ph.D. in Pulmis.
Professor of Practical and Medical Botany, Natural and Civil History.
Now, that makes sense.
Why the world you got a hold of this?
Well, everybody's taking it, Matt.
Oh, I forgot you were away when Professor Bone arrived.
What? You mean he's here in Dodge?
Sure. Came live to Thursby.
Got a fancy drink?
Got a fancy wagon he lectures from every day.
Bought this time, as a matter of fact.
You should hear him, Matt. He's great.
Yeah, yeah. He must be.
No, he really is.
Well, what's in that tonic, Kitty? You're kind of misty already.
Makes you feel great, Matt. Try some here.
No, no, no, thanks.
I don't need any worm seed oil.
Liquor does me all the harm I need.
You'll buy some once you've heard him talk.
He's awful smart, Matt.
Yeah, yeah, he must be. He's a professor. It says so on the bottle.
I don't care if he's a professor or not.
He makes wonderful tonic.
Yeah, I can see that.
Matt? Oh, I'm glad you're back.
Yes, you come with me.
Oh, hello, Doc. Sit down, won't you?
No, you come with me. Outside.
I want you to see the spectacle.
Huh? Oh, well, what are you talking about, Doc?
By this red-nosed old scarecrow, Loot Bone.
You ought to be tired and tired of that.
That's what. Oh, look. Look right there.
There's a bottle of Kitty. That's yours.
It's good, Doc. Real good.
I'm going to smash this bottle in the street.
No.
And if I find you drinking any more of it, I'll paddle you.
That's what I'll do.
Really, Doc?
Oh, oh, you see. You see what it does to people.
Come on, Matt.
Okay, Doc, I might as well find out what this is all about.
You'll excuse us.
Kidding?
You, not Doc.
I mean what I said, Kitty.
Bully.
Yeah, let's go, Doc.
There's his wagon.
And look at that crowd of fools.
What's so wrong with it, Doc?
I'll tell you later.
First, I want you to hear him talk.
The man's demented, that's what.
There he is, Matt. Yes.
Is he standing in the back of his wagon there?
Yes.
He's finished entertaining them now.
Well, just in time for the serious part.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
I discovered the formula for this famous lecture
while serving as personal surgeon to the King of Santo del Rio.
Oh, that liar.
He's the doctor.
Yes, sir.
Since that time,
Professor Bones' wonder medicine has cured more than 3,000 cases of ADU,
2,500 of chronic inflammatory rheumatism,
2,000 of green sickness, 1,000 of mercurial diseases,
1,500 of liver infection,
and 6,000 of general debility.
Matt, he ought to be home.
It purifies, cleanses, and strengthens the fountain springs of life
and infuses new vigor throughout the entire body.
In fact, my friends,
Professor Bones' wonder medicine will cure all disorders
incident to the human race without exception,
no matter what the age, circumstance,
or place of residence of the afflicted patient.
Hey, Professor, I live over in this stinkin' spring.
Will it cure me?
You're drunk.
You're drunk for the day ever since I was weaned, Professor.
I pity you, my friend.
Professor, when I was 12, I got drunk
and went to sleep at a hack-a-berry tree.
I never did find out how I got down.
Oh, don't laugh.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't, don't laugh.
Pity the poor man, the poor wretch.
Whiskey has him crushed in its foul cup.
His eyes roomy, his brains awash, his manhood's gone.
Will you shut up?
Whiskey, I tell you, whiskey did it.
Anymore talk about me, I'll put a bullet in you, Professor.
Evil man, drunken specter.
I'm telling you, no more.
No, no more.
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
about to appear on the wagon beside me
is a man you all know and respect.
One of your finest and most worthy citizens.
A man whose very presence contributes mightily
to the progress of your fair town.
A man whose soul is pure, but whose body,
ah, whose body has been the host of five separate diseases,
any one of which would soon have been fatal.
But now he is saved.
Three bottles of Professor Bones' wonder medicine has done it,
and here he is to tell you of this miraculous cure in his own words.
Step forward, sir, and speak.
Speak for the sake of your fellow man.
Great heavens, Matt.
It's Chester.
Chester.
Oh, Mr. Dillon.
Get on from there.
Why, yes, sir.
But my dear sir, you've got to talk to the people.
Hurry it up, Chester.
Who are you, sir? Where are you going now?
No, come back here, you. Come back.
Just go on with your lecture, Professor. Never mind about him.
You sure picked the wrong fine citizen, Professor.
Hey, Professor.
Yes, what?
Is your stump of yours will cure anything?
Anything, my friend.
Every disorder known to the medical faculty.
Well, my old man is 80, and he's got a beam stuck in his bone.
Now shut up, all of you. It's for true.
How about it, Professor, will it?
I've come to see your father, sir.
I'll visit him as soon as I'm able to pass a few bottles down among the good people gathered here.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, Mr. Dillon. Doc.
Come on, let's get out of here.
I'll take the chest of all people.
I suppose he's got you all doped up with that stuff too, Chester.
Oh, it makes you feel great, Doc.
Is that why you were up there?
No, sir. I got a deal with the professor.
He pays me $2.50 a day and gives me all the medicine I can drink.
Free.
It's idiots like you that made it possible, such quackery, Chester.
No, here, Doc, I'm not an idiot.
You've been acting like one, but that's not what's important.
Now, I've analyzed some of Bone's so-called medicine.
It's got opium in it, for one thing.
What, do you think it's dangerous?
Of course it is. People can get in the habit,
and what's worth it if something is wrong with them and they're taking the stuff,
they wouldn't find out until it's too late.
You've got to stop this business, Matt.
Yeah, I suppose you're right, Doc.
Either you stop him or...
or by heaven, I'll shoot him.
Now, I'm serious, Matt.
All right, Doc, all right. I'll talk to him a little later.
In the meantime, you stay away from him, Chester.
Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Mr. Dillon.
I didn't know.
Let this gentleman and his friends abroad
cause his dropsy and gout,
unhappy wives, empty lodgers, naked children,
lost cows, leaky roofs...
That's enough, Professor.
...bloody, bloody noses, broken shins,
flat purses and bad reputations.
I said that's enough of that, Professor.
Now, get out of here before I break a bottle of good whiskey over your head.
You, you are a destroyer of men, agent of the devil.
Oh, shut up. Nobody's going to preach against liquor in my place.
I'll fix you for it.
All right, hold it, Sam, hold it.
Uh, Professor Bone, I'd like to have a word with you.
Who are you, sir?
I'm a U.S. Marshal.
Now, uh, let's sit at a table over there, huh? Come on.
I'm at your service, Marshal.
Why don't you sit down?
Thank you.
And to what do I owe this honor, sir?
It, uh, isn't exactly an honor, Professor.
I want you to stop putting opium in that stuff you're selling.
Oh, well, come now, Marshal, surely you don't believe me?
Doc Adams is analyzing it, Professor,
and either you make it harmless or I'm going to run you out of dodge.
Yes, yes, I believe you would.
Now, you're free to sell it and you're free to do all the talking you want,
but that's all.
I'm, I'm a lonely old man, Marshal, and I'm tired of wondering.
I'll do what you say.
Good.
I, uh, hope you don't get into trouble with your preaching about liquor, Professor.
I have been fighting against drink ever since I was a youth.
Oh, well, what about opium? Isn't that just as bad?
I don't sell enough to do any harm, Marshal.
Maybe, but why are you so strong about whiskey?
When I was a child of twelve, my grandfather got drunk
and threw a pet owl onto a horse that was standing nearby.
What?
He did, and it frightened the horse into kicking an orphan boy,
broke the rim of his belly.
That boy died, Marshal.
Oh, I see.
Professor Bones.
Ah, Mr. Reeves, welcome, sir.
And how is your good father?
Marshal, I'm glad you're here.
Oh, what's the trouble, Reeves?
This here is not Professor, he's in trouble.
I'll tell you, my old man, he had a bean stuck in his throat.
The professor told me to give him a steam bath and then throw cold water on him.
And I was doing it.
For what for?
So as he'd catch cold and get a cough and bring up the beans.
Well, of all...
But it didn't work, Mr. Reeves.
It killed him.
It what?
My old man is dead.
Dead? Good heavens, poor fellow.
Now, I'm going to kill you, Professor.
No, you're not.
No, but no man can die of a mere cold, Mr. Reeves.
Something must have gone wrong.
What went wrong, all right?
Come on, we'll get dark and go see what this is all about.
And you'll get the idea of shooting anybody out of your head, Reeves.
Maybe I will.
Say, what goes on at your house at breakfast?
Well, you can take it from me.
The best thing that can go on to your breakfast table is post-toasties.
Yes, sir, post-toasties, the heat-good corn flakes.
Those golden crisp corn flakes are the best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.
You know how to prove it?
Just pour out breakfast bowls full of post-toasties for your whole tribe.
Then watch how they enjoy them.
Post-toasties are crisp and tasty from the first bite down to the last spoonful.
That sweet kernel corn flavor makes your breakfast.
So always ask for post-toasties, the heat-good corn flakes.
Post-toasties, heat-good corn flakes.
The best thing that's happened to corn since the Indians discovered it.
Heat-good corn flakes.
Post-toasties, heat-good corn flakes.
Remember, post-toasties is one of the famous triple-wrapped post-cereals, guaranteed fresh or triple your money back.
Now back to Gunsmoke.
Professor Bone wasn't a normal, everyday-type citizen, but he wasn't a murderer either.
And whatever had gone wrong and killed Reeves' father couldn't be blamed entirely on him.
Reeves had been a fool to follow his advice in the first place.
Doc told him so too in as many ways as he could think of.
We found the old man still lying in the steam bath Reeves had made.
All he'd done was to dig a big hole in the ground with a fire pit in the middle and then stretch some canvas across the top for a roof.
Doc climbed down into it and after a few minutes he came back out again.
Well Reeves, all I can figure is your father died of a heart attack.
I don't believe it Doc. That old man was strong as a bull.
Well I know that but there's nothing else that could have caused it.
How long did you have him in there Reeves?
Oh, maybe half hour, Marshal. He was having a fine time when I left him.
He poured a whole jug of vinegar on them rocks. I went up to the house to get some more.
Wait a minute, what did you say? Vinegar?
Sure. The professor here said it would help him to sweat.
Wait a minute.
Yes, I thought so.
It's the vinegar that killed him, Reeves.
What do you mean?
That's limestone you used in there, isn't it?
Well, limestone is fine.
You put vinegar on hot limestone and it'll make acid gas.
And that's what suffocated your pa.
I didn't tell you to use limestone, Mr. Reeves. You can't blame me for that.
But the vinegar was your idea, Professor, and I still say you murdered him.
Now wait a minute, Reeves. You're not being sensible. This thing was an accident, that's all.
I'm not a murderer. I never hurt anybody in my life.
You don't even know what you do, you old fake. Selling that slop of yours loaded with narcotics.
Did you tell him to stop that, Matt?
Yeah, yeah, Doc. He said he would.
My medicine is as pure as the dew, gentlemen. A newborn babe could drink it.
Don't let me catch you giving handy newborn babes. I'm going to analyze it every day you're here.
And I hope that won't be much longer.
Oh, I'm a lonely old man, sir. The only home I have is in my wagon.
Well, then go live in it, somewhere else. You've caused enough trouble around here.
Doc, take it easy on him.
Am I to be banished from the face of the earth? Am I not a man like any other man?
Do you think I have no heart, no feelings, no soul?
Well, why don't you just shut up and get out of here? I want to bury my old man.
I would gladly help you in that task, Mr.
No, sir. No, sir, not you. Not by alongside.
You are unkind, sir. Gentlemen, I take my leave of you. Good day.
For some reason, the three of us stood there in silence and watched Professor Bone walk away.
He stopped once and glanced back at us for a moment, then went on.
Later, when we got back to Front Street, his wagon was gone, and we figured probably that would be the last that we'd see of him.
Dodge was fairly quiet that night, and when somebody reported seeing a fire of some kind out on the prairie, I decided I might as well ride out and have a look.
There's no flames left, Mr. Dillon. I guess it must be all burned out.
I don't remember a house of any kind around here. I wonder what it was.
Maybe just a prairie fire that didn't get really started.
Oh, there's something, Chester. Over there.
Yeah, I can see a few coals.
Oh, holla.
What? It's a wagon, Mr. Dillon. It's all burned up.
That's Professor Bone's wagon, Chester.
I can only see your right.
That's his horse, too.
Professor!
Professor Bone!
Now, let's take a look here.
Where in the world could he be, Mr. Dillon?
I don't know, Chester.
Look out now. I'm going to move some of this.
Yeah, I'll help you.
Look. Look right there.
Yeah.
You think that's a professor?
I'm afraid so, Chester.
Poor old fella. He must have been asleep and his wagon caught fire.
Maybe.
Funny, he couldn't get out, though, unless he was drunk or something.
Professor Bone didn't drink, Chester.
That's right. I forgot. He sure didn't.
Say, you think maybe somebody did this, Mr. Dillon?
Well, they had two or three men pretty mad at him.
Yeah, or maybe it was Indians.
Oh, not this close to Dodge.
No. No, I guess not.
I don't know, Chester.
A lot of things can happen to people who get too lonely.
Now, come on, let's get out of here. We'll take care of him in the morning.
In just a moment, we'll tell you about next week's adventure on Gunsmoke.
Say, exciting things happen to breakfast when there's sugar crinkles at every place.
Sure, new sugar crinkles make breakfast more fun than a circus.
You know why? Sugar crinkles is the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.
Not too sweet, the way some sugar-coated cereals seem to be,
and not like others that aren't sweet enough.
Sugar crinkles, every golden crisp nugget of them, is just right sweet.
So try starting your day off just right with new sugar crinkles.
And don't forget, when you're listening to the radio or watching television,
sugar crinkles make great snacks.
From the bowl or from the pack for your breakfast or a snack,
sugar crinkles are more fun than a circus.
Try sugar crinkles soon.
They're the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.
So better get several packages.
Music
Gunsmoke under the direction of Norman McDonald stars William Conrad as Matt Dillon, U.S. Marshal.
Tonight's story was specially written for Gunsmoke by John Meston,
music composed and conducted by Rex Kort.
Featured in the cast were John Boehner, Barney Phillips, Paul Dubov, and Lawrence Dobkin.
Parley Bearer is Chester, Howard McNear is Doc, and Georgia Ellis is Kitty.
Ken Peters speaking.
Join us again next week as Matt Dillon, U.S. Marshal, avenges a killing
during his fight to bring law and order out of the wild violence of the West
in Gunsmoke.
Music
Listen next week at this time when Gunsmoke will be brought to you by sugar crinkles,
the sugar rice treat that's just right sweet.
Music